A Wonderous Thing

Today, at 11:45 I ate my sandwich and chips for lunch.  Not much exciting there, I grant you, but this was only the first fifteen minutes of my one hour lunch break.  It was the last forty-five minutes that were notable.  Let me try to paint the picture for you since I was not smart enough to have brought a camera; even if I had, chances are it would have precluded this moment from happening in the first place).  The temperature was in the low seventies (Based on my calibrated brow-sweat-ometer), the sun was shining on my shoulders and there was just enough of a breeze to cool me down without messing up my hair.  I sat at the west edge of the pig pond and listened to the sound of sparrows in the trees, duck feet paddling in the water, and a couple of geese - fortunately for me they were on the other side of the pond - foraging for whatever geese forage for in the water.  As I closed my eyes for a moment to take in the peaceful sounds, my left hand rested on the side of a really cool pig named Lucas (In more ways than one since he is both cool in the slang sense and he was lying on his side in sizable mud-hole at the time) while my right hand stroked his furry ear.  It was what I would call a pure moment and one that is harder to put into words than I thought it would be.  You kind of had to be there and it sums it all up to say that I am forever grateful that I was.

My first two days of my new job have been filled with these moments.  Yesterday I spent my lunch watching the "calves" (I don't know when they technically become cows, but in my mind they will always be the "cow-boys") on a grassy hill and watched the wind part the grass and reveal the purple clover flowers nested within.  This wind was a little stronger and did mess up my now red hair, but it didn't matter.  It was serene and wonderful. 

In other news, our move went smooth and we are about 94.7% un-boxed (Some engineering traits die harder than others), but who really cares about that?  All is good in my world today.

My Thirty Foot Band-Aid

At 5:17 on March 25th,  I walked out the door of my old company for the last time as an employee.  I paused for about fifteen seconds in order to appreciate the moment that it clicked shut behind me.  I took no pleasure in this, it was actually a little depressing to hear it all summed up in that sound.  It reminded me of the last time I visited Washington and was keenly aware that I was no longer part of the "submarine club" and couldn't go on base to see my old haunts.


The hours leading up to that moment at the door had been a lot more complex emotionally than I had expected them to be.  By nature, I am the kind of person who would just as soon fade away than have to say goodbyes.  I never really know what to say when someone else leaves or when I leave.  As the day goes on, I find that I get worse and worse at it since I use up most of my best lines early on ("Best" being a highly relative term).  It felt like a thirty-foot band-aid that was being slowly pulled off as the day progressed and there was some raw emotion underneath it.  While I am 110% sure of the direction that I am going, I can;t help but feel like a soldier who has led his team into a battle and is now pulling himself out.  While I take solace from the fact that my team is well equipped to win and I was able to hand-pick a great new leader for them, it doesn't erase the guilt.  As I looked into their eyes throughout the day, I suspect that they could see what I was feeling.


Despite the personal emotions that I was dealing with, my team and the extended members of it, put a lot of effort into making me feel like my time at Verigy meant something.  I had never seen or felt anything like it before.  For starters, they had arranged a going away lunch at a local vegan restaurant, Merit Vegetarian.  They had been scouting out locations on the sly and happened to stumble upon one of my favorites.  The lunch coordinators even facilitated a late change of dates in order to take advantage of the fact that the restaurant was holding a benefit for the victims of the Japan earthquake.  It was great to see so many of the faces of people who I had worked with in my time there and there were even some "blasts from the past".  I was very moved that they chose to be there.


The meal was great, except for some delays on some of the orders due to the volume of business that day, and I think it gave a lot of people their first exposure to the breakthroughs in vegan cuisine (It's not just carrots and sticks anymore).  At the end of the lunch, a member of my team shared some kind words and presented me with a box of gifts.  Since these were in company boxes, there were the requisite jokes about how they had found a new use for scrap parts as souvenirs.  As I looked at the box of wrapped gifts, there was a somberness to the moment that went beyond just the appreciation for the thought and my feelings of being among these great people.  I would have been fine without anything since the lunch was enough, but now that I had these in my arms, I wondered how well the people I work with knew me.  While I am a firm believer that it is the thought that counts (Which is why I have kept so many clothes from Lori that I don't wear), I think we all have experienced gifts that are misses and those which are home-runs.


The card was the first thing I opened, but I couldn't read it there without risking losing my composure.  That would have to wait until I got home.  Starting with the first box, it was clear that that this was going to be headed for McCovey Cove.  As I continued with them, there was a theme that showed how much the team really got me and how much effort they put into it. 

My new work ensemble: Vegan coveralls, gloves, hat, and boots.



Coveralls emblazoned with my website's logo.




They also added my name and new home.




Hopefully this was in recognition of my cool headedness.





New non-leather rugged work boots.



As the team explained how they had selected the items, it was amusing to realize how they had been scouting me out.  I play racquetball every week with one of my team members and when he had been steering the conversation toward racquetball gloves, he had been trying to learn my glove size.  His keen interest in the past perils of my shoe-sizing suddenly made a lot more sense than it had at the time (I used to wear a shoe-size that was one and a half two big on account of my wide "Fred Flintstone" feet and hadn't realized this until I went to buy my first dress clothes...at age twenty-seven).

All of the thought that went into this and the execution of the lunch made what I was feeling even harder to bear.  It is only now, a couple days later that I can read the card and really sit down and try to put what I was feeling to electronic paper.  At lunch, I had borrowed the Peace Corps motto of, "It's the toughest job you'll ever love" to try to express it, and it works just as well right now.  It was in that moment, that this feeling crystallized.  While I found myself smiling a lot more often as the days wound down, there had been a lot of smiles all along.  Sure, we may have become battle-hardened, but between battles we enjoyed each others company and in the midst of the fire-fights, we had looked to each other for support.  Along with my new found realization about loving the job, I know that I will never be going back to my old company.  It was/is the people who make it special and once you remove yourself from that, it is never possible to really go back.  People come and go and change and the dynamic will never be quite the same.  It is with that sentiment that I make a closing commentary for anyone who actually reads this.

Recently I have become interested in World War II documentaries.  I have marvelled at the bravery of those who fought the good fight and often lost their lives in the process.  As I watched these, I started to realize the importance of perspective.  These acts of selflessness and bravery are profound when viewed today, but I would contend they are all the more potent when you imagine that the outcomes weren't known when all of this was going on.  While acknowledging that there is no direct comparison between this and what is going on at my old company, I believe that there is an indirect one.  The M&A activity that is going on right now is public knowledge and anyone who has ever been through this knows the uncertainty that this brings.  If I have learned anything from those documentaries, it is that true greatness comes from the ability, ne the desire, to go "once more unto the breach" and face the challenges that life throws at you regardless of the unknown future.  This test of mettle is ultimately more important than any one job since it means that you are indeed worthy of any job.

The End of this Chapter and the Beginning of the Next

In advance of my new direction, I figured I would share my formal closure which I sent out last week at work:

Those who know me or who have ever stopped by my cube will probably be aware of my involvement with a non-profit organization (Farm Sanctuary) which is dedicated to rescuing and rehabilitating farmed animals and educating the public about the nature of factory farming.  This is something that I am very passionate about and which I have endeavored to become more involved with over the last year and a half.  A few weeks ago, I was contacted by the shelter manager in Orland, CA (Where I volunteer every other week) about a position that they had opening up to see if I would be interested in being considered.  This past Saturday, February 26th, I was told that the position was mine if I wanted it.

It has been an interesting last eighteen months for me, both on a professional and a personal level.  I have spent a lot of time focused on self-discovery and trying to figure out not just "what I want to do when I grow up", but "who I want to be when I grow up" as well.  While these are very similar, I believe there is a key distinction.  Along the way, I have been writing about my experiences since this provided an opportunity to get in touch with another of my passions, creativity.  An interesting side-effect of writing about your life is that you start to see yourself as a character in your story and you begin to appreciate the control that you have over the way the story plays out.  While it may often feel like you are "along for the ride", your life is really a product of decisions, both small and large.

On Monday, February 28th, I made a large decision and informed Verigy that I would be accepting the position at Farm Sanctuary.  This is a bitter-sweet decision for me.  While I know that this is the right move for me as a person, I will miss many of the aspects of Verigy that have also become a big part of my life:

• While it may not feel like it on any given day, I will miss the ride.  Like any good ride, it has been a combination of the road and the people I have been travelling on it with, and they have both been great.
• I believe that the Support Operations Team, under Barry's leadership, is headed in a direction that really makes sense to me, and a part of me wishes to be part of seeing the vision become a reality.
• I have had the honor of being part of a special team who have supported me through good times and bad times and have been able to make some really big changes in how we perform as a unit. 

My new job will be dramatically different from my job today.  It will involve simple, but meaningful things such as cleaning barns, feeding and caring for animals, and working to communicate with people about the cause.  To many people this may sound like an odd transition, but for those who really know me it won't.  It will be a chance to work outdoors on something that really matters to me where I can see that I am making a difference every day.  It really is my dream job and I believe that the last eighteen months have been all about leading me to the opportunity to make this choice.

My last day with Verigy is expected to be March 25th, 2011 and there will be a lot of work to be done between now and then in order to ensure a smooth transition.  I like to believe that my biggest contribution to my team has been to provide them with this opportunity to do great and important things and I trust that this will continue past my departure.  I want to thank everyone for the lessons that you have taught me in my time here, everywhere and everyday, and to wish you all the very best as you continue down the road to Verigy's future. 

Sincerely,

Brian Higgins

"There are two things that I want you to make up your minds to: first, that you are going to have a good time as long as you live - I have no use for the sour-faced man - and next, that you are going to do something worthwhile, that you are going to work hard and do the things you set out to do." (Theodore Roosevelt)

New Years 2011 Considerations

2010 will come to an end tonight and another new year will be upon us.  I am not one for "New Year's Resolutions" since they rarely seem to work and they are generally pretty self-centered, but I have some New Year's considerations that I am going to try to focus on, and which I decided I would share here.  So, in no particular order, here are my five modest focus points for 2011:

1.       Conservation: It may seem like a small thing to do, but I remember my "Navy Showers" from the submarine days and I will try to incorporate these in my daily life.  Basically a "Navy Shower" is one where you get wet, turn off the water, soap up, turn the water back on, and rinse.  I already have an in-line stop valve (The in-line stop valve prevent the water temperature from changing) installed as the result of a lazy attempt to fix our plumbing (Before I bit the bullet and replaced the actual valve) , so it is just a matter of using it.  If I assume that the shower head we have complies with the national standard (2.5 gallon per minute) and that I take a ten minute shower every morning and after every work-out, cutting out eight minutes of water would save ten-thousand four hundred gallons of water every year.  That is nothing to laugh at when you consider the potential crises that our water wasting is likely to cause in the coming years.  And all it takes is a two dollar valve, minimal plumbing skills, and some will-power.

2.       Look at the "Small Picture":  Everyone, especially in the business world, likes to talk about the "big picture" and the need to stay focused on that.  I guess there is a time and place for this, but in my new life of animal advocacy, the "big picture" is so daunting that it often paralyzes well-meaning people.  With approximately ten billion animals raised atrociously and killed callously just for food in this country each year, the "big picture" has no time for the small victories that can and should be made.  Even if we can only help a fraction of one percent of these animals, that is a task worth doing and those are lives that would have otherwise been lost.  I struggle with this every day since I feel like I can't win and it is important to recalibrate what this means by focusing on the "small picture".  I am going to try to look at it this way: If the world's suffering is equated to the grains of sand on a beach, clearly I can't fix all of that.  But even a negligible amount of sand can be used to make amazing sand sculptures or castles.  I need to focus on what I can do and how to make it matter most.

3.       Live for Today: In addition to being a great album (By Boysetsfire, if anyone is interested), it is a mindset that I want to adopt this year.  I have become very aware of the fact that so many of my decisions and moods are influenced by what may happen in the future.  Whether it is fear over the future of my job, anxiety over whether I will land a job I actually enjoy doing at some point in my life, whether or not to adopt a sweet rat, or how much longer I will have my Heidi in my life, the future and the past always find ways of creeping in.  Now, I would never advocate a negligent "live fast, die young life" for anyone (Too late for me anyway), but I don't want to be paralyzed by this anymore.  None of us know how many more tomorrow's we have, but I can hazard a guess at how many today's I have squandered out of fear.  That's not what living life is about.  We can't live when we insulate ourselves from pain and risk.  We have to be able to face it and experience it if we want to fully appreciate this gift that we have been given.

4.       Buy Local (As Much as Possible): This is one that has become more important to me as I watch what appears to be the death gasp of this country's economy and the role that buying cheap and non-local has played in getting us to this point.   I am often repulsed by the fact that I work for a company that has exported so much of their labor overseas, but then again it is hard to find any in this country that haven't done the same.  The fact that this new norm exists should give us all pause.  I have neither the aspiration nor the skills to aspire to change this from the top, but by trying to buy local I can do two things.  First, I can reward those merchants who are trying to stay alive.  While I have no particular nostalgia for these "mom and pop shops", I do believe that they have more personality and are more integral to any landscape than their multi-national corporate competition.  Secondly, I can afford to, for now.  It's no secret that these stores normally cannot compete with Walmart or Target's razor thin profit margins or loss-leaders, but in a business that is all about volume, the more power that we can give the local operations, the better.  Beyond buying local, I would love to buy as much "Made in the USA" products as possible, assuming this is still possible and that this label hasn't been diluted to the point of meaningless.

5.       It's All About Me: This sounds bad on the surface, but what it means to me is that I need to live my own life and seek out my own merit without comparing myself to others.  There will always be someone in a more powerful position, either financial or influential, but that doesn't mean that I should look at what I do as without merit.  If we all volunteered even one hour of our time, or gave just twenty dollars a year to a charity, our world would look a heck of a lot different than it does today.  We would all be off the sidelines and in the game, even if we weren't the star players.

Friends of Hilda Club Newsletter, Volume X, Number 8

I received my copy of the Farm Sanctuary "Friends of Hilda Club Newsletter" today and had the chance to see my interview from October in print (As well as some great pictures of me and Bonnie and Coco).  I have a habit of being pretty long-winded when it comes to these things, so they couldn't print it in its entirety, but I am still really honored that they thought of me for this at all.  Since the newsletter doesn't have the distribution that I wish it did, I will share my interview here in full (Although this forum probably  has about one tenth of the readers).  Enjoy!


Farm Sanctuary:  When did you first become involved with Farm Sanctuary (what led you to it?)?
Brian Higgins: Well, I personally like to think about it the other way around.  I didn’t really find Farm Sanctuary, it found me.  In the summer of 2009, I found myself in a real funk.  My life had lost its passion and I was awash in a sea of stress and frustration with my life.  On my way back from a road-trip to Washington state, I decided to check out a place that I had seen on-line called Farm Sanctuary.  I had visited a famous animal sanctuary in Utah and was looking for one closer to home in California.  I didn’t know what the operating hours were, and I arrived late in the afternoon, after closing time.  I had the phone number and decided to call anyway and I was told that I could come up and have a quick look around.  On that day in July 2009 I met Carolyn Mullen and Coco the goat, and I knew I had stumbled upon something really special.  A few weeks later, I came back during normal hours for the official tour and began adopting my new friends.  Farm Sanctuary’s animals and staff pulled me back from the dark place I was in and rekindled my passion.


FS: What moved you to go to Ohio and work on the ballot initiative?
BH: For the most part, it was a continuation of the theme of trying to find ways to get involved and make a difference.  I had assumed that I couldn’t do much since I am not an Ohio resident, but then I saw the “call to arms” e-mail and knew I had to go.  The timing was bad because of things going on at work, including the fact that my boss had flown out from Germany that week to meet with me, but I knew I had to be part of it.  I had missed the opportunity to be involved in the Prop 2 push and wasn’t going to miss this.  My only regret is that I could only spend two days there.


FS: What was the most powerful part of your trip to Ohio?
BH: It sounds weird in context, but I found a lot of kindred spirits in Ohio.  Although I live in the Bay Area, I am the only Vegan I know in my day to day life.  While people are generally pretty understanding, it’s not the same as being among people who have the same world view.  I had the chance to meet some really great people in Ohio.  Although I was only there for a couple days, it was a challenging environment.  I had thought that going door to door would be easy for me since I am used to dealing with customer issues in my job, and I figured this would be easy by comparison.  I soon learned how wrong I was.  There was, in fact, a huge difference between dealing with a customer who is frustrated with a product’s performance and having your world view rejected by people.  Since the Ohio ballot measure represented the most basic of protections, the objection to it was really disheartening.  Being among so many commited and wonderful people offset the difficult moments.  Having discussions with David, Lisa, Kim, and Cameron on the road and during the canvassing was reaffirming and I think we all renewed our dedication.  It was also very touching when we were able to connect with folks who thanked us for what we were doing.  Even when they weren’t registered voters, which was pretty common, the encouragement showed that there was real hope for change once the signature gathering was done.


FS: You volunteer at the California shelter at least once a month. What is it like working regularly and directly with the animal residents there?
BH: I love it!  I just wish I had known I could do this before.  I had read on the Farm Sanctuary site about internships and volunteer work parties, but I didn’t know that I could just volunteer whenever I wanted to.  I had first offered to volunteer around Christmas 2009 since I figured they may be short-handed for the holidays.  Since then I make the three hour drive up to Orland as often as I can.  I call it my “Farm Therapy”, or sometimes my “Farm Workout”, if it involves a lot of hay bale lifting.  There’s a lot to be said for getting your hands dirty.  It allows me to see behind the scenes of what goes on at Farm Sanctuary and really appreciate the work that the staff does every day.  I have worked with them in the freezing cold and pouring rain and on days when I felt like I would burst into flames as soon as I stepped out of my car.  Their commitment to their animal charges never wavers and I know that my contributions are going to support something that is truly wonderful. 


I have also been able to make much more personal connections with my adopted family.  While it is great to come visit and spend time, it is amazing how much more personality you have the chance to see when you are there for the candid moments.  I have seen things that really touched my heart. 


Before I ramble on, I guess I could summarize it best by saying that I am addicted, but in a good way.  People can always tell when I have been to the Farm because they can see it in my face.


FS: Who is your favorite sanctuary animal? Why?
BH: Well, you are talking to someone who, as a kid, couldn’t pick a favorite stuffed animal out of fear of hurting their feelings, so I obviously can’t answer that.  My Farm family currently consists of 13 wonderful animals, each with their own personality and special memories.  Having said all that, Coco is my first farm love.  It was the look in her eyes that snared me on my first visit.  I saw in her eyes the same thing that I had seen in my dog’s eyes at home – love for life.  Coco was in really rough shape when I met her on my first visit.  She had recently arrived from a horrific neglect case and had a severe case of mastitis and was terrifyingly underweight.  When Carolyn asked if I wanted to feed her, she was very shy due to a lack of trust in people, but the look in her eyes stayed with me.  She kept me coming back and as her salvation began, so did mine.  I shared her story with my family and friends and she put a face to what is wrong with a society that fails to acknowledge the value of life and to protect it. 


FS: What is one of your favorite moments shared with Coco?
BH: That’s easy.  Watching Coco’s recovery.  From putting on weight after her surgery to watching her get introduced to the goat herd, I have witnessed her getting a chance to have a real life as a goat.  Perhaps as importantly, I have seen Coco become comfortable with people and trust that we aren’t all like the people who abused her.  This is an amazing feeling.  Just today, I had a chance to sit with her in the shade.  She had been napping with her neck craned around and the tip of her tongue sticking out.  When I got close to her, she heard me and woke up.  Coco sauntered over and let me pet her for several minutes before heading back to the rest of the goats.  You can’t buy an experience like that; you have to invest in it.


FS: This past summer you attended the Hoe Down at the CA Shelter. What was that experience like for you?
BH: I had originally planned to attend as a guest, but when I arrived there were some “no-show” volunteers so I couldn’t resist answering the call.  This allowed me the opportunity to do one of my favorite things; Tell visitors about my experiences with the animals and the staff.  Normally I am a little reserved in large groups of people, but my desire to share all of my stories cut right through that.  I had a chance to introduce people to my friends during the tours and I really feel like I was making a difference.  I feel that the animals and their stories resonate with people on a level that few other tools can and I always love to be part of that.


FS: You received Farm Sanctuary’s Friends of Farm Animals award this year to honor your outstanding generosity and hard work on behalf of farm animals. How did it feel to be presented with this award?
BH: I think surreal would be the word.  I couldn’t have been more surprised.  I was afraid that when I got to the front of the crowd I would find out that I had misheard and they were looking for a “Ryan Riggins” or something.  Once I realized it really was my name they had called, I felt amazingly unworthy, kind of like when I was approached about this interview.  It’s hard to feel like I have given that much since I feel like I have received so much more.  I was asked to make some comments and I wish I could remember what I said.  I was overwhelmed by the moment and that part of the night is a blur to me.  I only remember wishing that my wife had been there in the crowd.  When I saw Leanne, Kerrie, Sophia, Ashley, Indran, Molly, and Mike after the dinner, I was feeling proud.  Hearing that they had put in a good word for me meant so much because of the respect that I have for them.  I have received my share of school and work related awards, but this was the first award I have ever won that was for something that really mattered to me.  In fact, it was the inspiration for my first tattoo!  I had always thought it would be cool to get one, but I had never been able to convince myself that I had something that I would want to keep with me forever.  This feeling, however, was one that I wanted to memorialize.  Since I still wasn’t sure that I deserved it, I have commited myself to doubling my efforts in every way.  Even then, though, it still feels like I am the main beneficiary!


FS: What are Message Fridays, and how have they been received?
BH: I believe that many Vegans experience “Vegan Guilt” after their conversion.  They feel bad about their actions prior to realizing the consequences of their choices.  For me, this drove me into a mental frenzy of looking for ways to make a difference, to atone if you will, for the time before I went Vegan.  “Message Fridays” is a way for me to connect with people passively without seeming too “in your face”.  My employer doesn’t allow solicitation at work, but there are no rules against wearing T-shirts with animal rights themed slogans.  I have developed an extensive collection of shirts which allow me to share the message.  That was my first subtle step and since then I have added others.  My office at work is plastered with adoption certificates and pictures from the Farm.  I carry my Farm Sanctuary water bottle to every meeting.  I have a picture of Coco on my desktop and I always linger on that for several seconds before kicking off a presentation in a meeting.  I even wrote a company newsletter article about quality citing my experiences at the Farm.  Each of these have provided me with a number of opportunities to talk to people about my beliefs.  While I haven’t made any “Vegan converts”, to my knowledge, I have had a number of people stop by to proudly proclaim that they don’t eat meat anymore or to ask for Vegan recipes or to say that knowing me has changed the way they think of “radical” Vegans or animal rights advocates.  I am able to leverage my reputation at work for something that is more important to me - the animals.


FS: What does being a lifetime Friends of Hilda Club member mean to you?
BH: It means the world to me.  Life is an unpredictable thing and it feels like it is more volatile than ever nowadays.  It may seem weird, but when I think of the chance of losing my job, one of my biggest fears is not being able to visit my Farm friends anymore if my finances were suddenly in disarray.  Being a lifetime member, means I don’t have to worry about that.  It also makes me feel more like a part of the Farm Sanctuary team which is something that I am really proud of.


FS: You are creating change in the world around you. Can you tell us how your own life changed after becoming involved with Farm Sanctuary?
BH: My life doesn’t transpire in days, hours, or minutes anymore.  Its passage is marked in visits to the Farm.  This past year, I began writing a book, or a journal if I never try to publish it, documenting how the Farm has changed the way I feel about myself and how I see the world around me.  As I look back on the chapters, I can see my transformation unfolding and see that I am becoming the “Brian” that I was meant to be.  Even at my age, I hadn’t previously answered the question of, “What do I want to do when I grow up?”  Now I know.  I like to believe that if I continue on this path, I will be part of a proud legacy and that is something that motivates me to keep doing whatever I can to change the world one person at a time. 


FS: If there is one thing you’d want people to learn about farm animals, what would it be?
BH: Most of our relationships with animals are in our world and revolve around what they learn from us.  I wish everyone could visit the Farm and see what can be learned by watching the animals be themselves. You haven’t seen pleasure until you have watched chickens return to a freshly cleaned barn and scratch and peck through the straw with unbridled enthusiasm.  You haven’t heard excitement until you have heard pigs announcing that it is their mealtime.   You don’t know peace until you have watched your special goats sharing a nap together.  It’s inspiring and it makes you wonder if we would all be a lot happier if we took the time to learn to be more like them and appreciate the small wonders that life presents us with.  It makes you wonder whether man really is the smartest animal and whether we have lost our way in the modern world.

A Farm Sanctuary Christmas

A Farm Sanctuary Christmas

'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the Farm
not a creature was stirring, no cause for alarm.
The barns were shut tight without a draft of cold air,
in hope that the animals would find comfort there.

The pigs were ensconced warmly in their nests,
while the goats had clean straw upon which to rest.
The cows, birds and rabbits and even the sheep,
Were peacefully drifting away into sleep.

When out of the black there arose such a clatter,
Coco woke from her nap to see what was the matter.
Away from Melvin's warm side she hastily rose,
And peered into darkness past the tip of her nose.

The moon's reflection on the duck pond below,
provided just enough light with a soft soothing glow,
when what to her sparkling eyes did appear,
but a Kawasaki Mule© filled with snacks up to here.

With a different driver, not one of the staff,
Who'd all been asleep t'least an hour and a half.
In the cold winter air, his breath made a cloud,
As he called unto each in a voice t'was quite loud:

"Come Melvin! Come Edwin!
Come Blossom and Bonnie!
Here, Ady! Here,Daisy!
Here, Edwin! Here, Sweetpea!
Arise all you animals!
Awake in an instant!
Now feast away! Feast away!
Feast away all!

As errant straw upon the brisk wind does carry,
To their beloved troughs the animals did not tarry.
With passion for alfalfa and various treats,
They hustled and bustled for something to eat.

And then, with a jingle, Coco heard from a stall
a sound from the man who had started it all.
As she cocked her sweet head, beardy-beard flowing long,
before her stood Saint Nicholas with his reindeer throng.

He wore not a fur, for a Vegan was he,
and quite dapper he looked, with a scent of pine tree.
His bag of fine treats, now hung empty at his side,
and his hand held the keys to the Mule© he did ride.

His gaze fell upon her, on the "nice list" was she,
She'd been a good girl, no better could she be!
With a coat of white hair, pure as driven snow,
And a loving persona that's always on show.

A sprig of alfalfa sticking out from her teeth,
Couldn't distract from her halo that hung like a wreath.
With wattles than dangled gingerly from her neck,
She had eaten her food, she'd left not a speck.

After a lengthy pause, Saint Nicholas spoke,
to Coco and the rest of the fine barnyard folk:
"You have all faced rough times, your lives have been hard",
The animals were all ears listening from the yard.

"Despite all of the suffering at the cold hand of man,
you've been good ambassadors, the best that you can.
You've set an example of unconditional love,
with peaceful contemplation to rival that of the dove.

Hearts and minds are a changing, the tides they are turning,
The pace may be slow, but mankind, it is learning.
So until full change happens, one last thing if I might,
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"

A Gross Realization

After my last wonderful visit to the Farm, I found myself having a minor case of the sniffles.  At the first rest stop on the I-5, I pulled over to blow my nose.  As I walked into the bathroom to get some toilet paper, something that I am sure we have all done from time to time, I experienced a moment of sheer revulsion.  As I reached down to unspool an ample handful of “noise blowing receptacle”, I had a moment of clarity regarding what I was about to do.  Before I go there, I am hoping that I am not the only person in the world who has done this before.  If I am, this whole story is going nowhere and I will likely be ostracized for ever more as the person “who did that”.  Anyway, back to my ugh moment.  In the instant before my hand touched the sheet of paper sticking out from beneath the metal shroud, I thought of the hand that probably last touched that sheet.  Some strange, and probably disgusting man (Who else would go number two in a roadside rest stop like this one), had pulled off the last sheet to hastily wipe the remnants of what had previously been the occupant of his colon.  Given the meager ply of this paper, there is a good chance that it had not provided his hand with full sanitary protection before he had pulled this last sheet.  There is no need for more visuals there, I am sure you get the picture.  And this was the paper that I was previously planning to hold to my face while I blew my nose.  Pretty gross, huh!  For those who will admit to having done this before, I suspect that you will never do it again.  The implications of the act are going to be too profoundly embedded in you conscious and subconscious.

Now, I don’t work for the Kleenex industry, although I am game if they are, so my story is not intended to help move the product off the shelves.  The intent of my story is to ask why an anecdote like this can be very influential while people choose to ignore other disgusting aspects of life and proceed like its business as usual.

Witness for example, the following quote which I read on the wall of a popular Vegan restaurant that I frequent:

“For my part I rather wonder both by what accident and in what state of soul or mind the first man did so, touched his mouth to gore and brought his lips to the flesh of a dead creature, he who set forth tables of dead, stale bodies and ventured to call food and nourishment the parts that had a little before bellowed and cried, moved and lived.  How could his eyes endure the slaughter when throats were slit and hides flayed and limbs torn from limb?  How could his nose endure the stench?  How was it that the pollution did not turn away his taste, which made contact with the sores of others and sucked juices and serums from mortal wounds?... But for the sake of some little mouthful of flesh we deprive a soul of the sun and light, and of that proportion of life and time it had been born into the world to enjoy.”

This quote is attributed to Plutarch, a Greek historian, biographer, and essayist born in 46 CE.  Maybe Plutarch is a bit too abstract and since you haven’t heard of him, his words do not resonate (Although why my grossly formatted words would if his don’t is a mystery to me).  Let’s try something else on for size:

“Truly man is the king of beasts, for his brutality exceeds theirs.  We live by the death of others:  we are burial places!  I have from an early age abjured the use of meat, and the time will come when men such as I will look on the murder of animals as they now look on the murder of men.”

Those words were uttered by a man who is revered as the pinnacle of wisdom, a certain Leonardo DaVinci.  Why is it that what was so obvious to these men centuries ago continues to elude the majority of the world’s population.  Has death and suffering become so engrained in us that we don’t even give it a second thought?  Are we so selfish that it just doesn’t matter?  Have we forgotten that all life is sacred and worthy of respect?

Believe it or not, we all have a choice to make when it comes to the disgusting things that we choose to say “no” to.  The main difference between the toilet paper situation and the eating of animal corpses is that there is a decent chance that the toilet paper wasn’t contaminated with feces.  Think about it.