See What?

Today I find myself secluded in the house like a freak having been the "victim" of a botched hair dye job which has left me with "old lady" pink hair and a scalp that is covered with random purple leopard spots.  Shockingly, it turns out that I am not licensed nor bonded by the State of California as a hair stylist and our homeowner's policy doesn't cover it either.  In the spirit of looking on the bright side, it means that I have time on my hands to write about the past week and some of the interesting sights that made me do some double takes (Like people will with my hair until I figure out what to do with it next).

The first story involves a simple tree on the Farm in what is called the Oak Tree Pasture.  As you can probably guess from the name, it is an oak tree.  For anyone whose imagination has been hopelessly compromised by the effects of today's media and the Internet (Except for my blog, of course which can only make you a better person), I was hoping to provide a good picture of it.  Imagine my surprise as I went through literally hundreds of pictures only to find that I have never taken a picture of it, even by accident.  When I look at how many pictures I have of rocks, my leg, my finger (I think that's what it was), it is astounding that I never got the tree, even if it was barely in frame. 

Well, the tree really isn't that notable anyway, although don't tell the tree since I suspect it is old and it may hurt its feelings.  What was notable was what happened to be in the tree on Friday.  While doing feeds, I was called over by one of the other caregivers and we both looked in amazement at the two goats who had decided to climb the tree.  Noel and Justin had apparently managed to jump up to the first "V" before the branches split and were quite contentedly nesting there.  Every once in a while, Justin would try to get higher, but then he would come back, seemingly disheartened. Just when you thought you had seen it all, you see not one, but two goats in a tree!

The next notable observation came on Saturday when I was cleaning the Sheep and Goat Barn.  Now, for those who are do not have a BSE (Bovine Sanitation Engineer) degree like I do (See below), I may need to set the scene.

When we facilitate soiled straw extraction and disposal, our primary implement for collection and secondary ground abrasion effect is the rake.  Now, amateurs may think that they know all about the simple rake, but trust me pal, you don't!  While you may use rakes to pull sedentary debris, I can use mine to kill a man in seventeen increasingly gruesome ways and I have single handedly fought off several rogue vampires by staking them through the heart with the handle (I can't go into more detail on this right now since there is a legal case pending since I couldn't prove they were vampires, but hey, the upside is that the duck hunting across the street has decreased significantly!).  As a 27th level BSE, I also know that a rake can be used to push things if you flip it over and push at just the right angle and hold on to the handle hard enough to prevent impaling yourself (Vlad the impaler style where you run  yourself through and slowly slide down the rake until the word goes out for a "Clean-up in Stall 4").  This allows us to move large quantities of straw around quickly and is somewhat of a trade-secret (Oops!).  Kids, do not try this at home, we are trained professionals!

Anyway, I was in the middle of this dirty business when Madeline Goat came by the gate and seemed to have something important to tell me.  She did, but it was only that she wanted me to come over and open the darn gate so she could come in.  I did since technically i work for her and the review cycle is coming up and what she did next surprised me.  As I was rake-pushing, she stepped in front of me, positioned her head against the rake handle so that it was between her horns, and she began pushing with all her might.  It was actually helping!  I didn't have the heart to tell her this since I am sure that was not her intent, but it was another amazing image that happened because I left my camera at home.

The last story that I will share before I run off to try to wash the spots off my head again is somewhat sad, but sweet.  Anyone who has read my entire blog and is not currently committed to a mental institution or wondering how they came to waste such a valuable portion of their life, will know about Whitaker; The cow that wants to be a human.  For those who are new to this (Who am I kidding), Whitaker came to Farm Sanctuary as a calf and bonded strongly to people.  The saddest thing used to be hearing him moo for his "people herd" to come get him away from the cows.  He has come a long way now and has some good cow friends, but he still sees himself as one of the caregivers who just happens to be deep undercover with the herd. 

So it came to be that yesterday the main cattle herd came down to pay a visit to the barn.  It was nice seeing all of my old friend in one place, but after a while they began to filter back to the pasture and I needed to get back to my cleaning.  When I finished and started to drive the tractor out, I heard and caught a glimpse of something almost simultaneously.  After a brief investigation which involved rotating my head eighty-four point six degrees (Hey, I am an "engineer" after all), I saw a very confused Whitaker.  Specifically, I saw an adorable former calf who was wondering why this bulging, stuffily dressed (Accidental pun), grotesque person with hair that was so fried it looked like straw wouldn't accept his "friend request".  This broke my heart a little so I knew I had to get off my high-tractor and go give him the human hug he needed.  He gave plenty of cow kisses and then reluctantly went to back to his undercover assignment.

The upside to this last story is that, if worse comes to worse, I suspect I may be able to get Whitaker to use his tongue to de-purple my scalp when I go back to work on Tuesday.  As for the "old lady pink", I guess I need to take up bingo at the local casinos!