I had decided that Madeline and Molly would be included as part of the guest experience. Madeline and Molly were normally relegated to the "penalty box" during tours since they could be a little rowdy, but I had faith in them. Add to that the fact that they are so darn cute and it feels like keeping them away from the people would be short-changing them.
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| I mean come on, they are fricking adorable! |
The guests started coming in around 1:15 and everything went really well. Madeline was adorable and Molly was preternaturally photogenic. I suspect that they are both Facebook celebrities by now (I will never know since I will never use Facebook again).
The first couple hours went by really quick. While there was a steady flow of people in and out, I had ample opportunity to answer questions and share personal anecdotes. It was around that time that I heard a high pitched scream. A brief investigation yielded a report that Madeline had "butted" a small child. Now, it needs to be noted that Madeline is my baby, and like any good parent, I will go to my grave convinced that it was the kid's fault and that my little angel was in the right.
However, since I was on the job, I had to be diplomatic. I sprang into action and ensured that the child wasn't hurt and his father confirmed that he was fine. The boy, who was probably about four, was not acting like it though and eventually his dad asked if he wanted to leave. Through tears and in a wavering voice, he replied "No", and alluded to the fact that the "mean goat was by the door." In order to resolve the situation, I tried to direct Madeline into a side stall, but she wasn't interested. She was quite adamant that she was the victim and didn't like the fact that I was taking the boy's side without hearing her side of the story. She wasn't budging and the only way I was going to get her out of the door was to pick her up.
Before I go on, I need to share a little back story. As I was preparing my clothes for today I had set aside three shirts, three pairs of shorts, three pairs of socks, and three pairs of underwear in preparation for a wet and muddy work day. I had also meant to bring my belt, but when I got to work, I proved the adage that "the road to hell is paved with good intentions". This wouldn't be a problem if I has still as heavy as I used to be, but since I had lost some inches around the waist it put me at a risk of losing my shorts without a belt. As a triage I had rolled the waistband over which has the effect of tightening them enough to keep them above my hips with an occasional pull up from time to time.
Back to Madeline. She continued to protest her innocence and as I focused on her horns which posed the greater damage, her little kicking legs unrolled the top of my shorts and gravity teamed up with my knife and radio to make them start dropping. Standing there with two hands full of goat I couldn't hike my shorts back up so I had no choice but to drop to my knees, which was coincidentally where the waistband of my shorts were! I sat down and tried to pull my shirt down while restraining Madeline long enough for the boy and his father to leave...but they didn't. They just stood there. Meanwhile, the sight of me with Madeline in my lap was drawing a number of "Oohs" and "Aahs" and flashes from cameras. As if that wasn't bad enough, Joey, an adorable lamb who had been shadowing me most of the day, decided to come over and visit with me and Madeline. More pictures were taken in what seemed like an eternity as I waited to be able to let Madeline go.
Finally the man and his son walked out and I let Madeline go. This wasn't the end of my ordeal, however. Now I was sitting with my shorts around my knees with the daunting challenge of getting them pulled back up without it being too obvious; and it's not like I could just sit there and formulate a plan because without Madeline on my lap my predicament was even more obvious than before.
I would like to believe that I pulled it off discretely without anyone being any the wiser but I have to wonder if the people with the cameras will see the image in a whole new light when they see their pictures blown up across their computer screens. Maybe 2012 be known as the year where indecent exposure was on the menu at the Celebration for the Turkeys!
