How’s that for a title? Anyway, I am on another “fun” business trip to Utah for a customer meeting/beating. Being the paranoid individual that I am, I can’t help but find myself at the airport a gazillion hours early for my flight and after a satisfying, but not wonderful, veggie-wrap I decided to heed nature’s call. As I minded my own business, kept my eyes forward, and avoided any form of foot tapping (That damn senator ruined it for all of us), I heard singing. As I walked to the freshly cleaned sink, I saw that it was the janitor/custodian (When it comes to job titles, I can never remember whether one is more “PC” than another).
While I wouldn’t be waiting in line at midnight at Best Buy for his CD, his voice was pleasant enough as he sang a tune in what seems to be his native language…but that’s not the point. The point is that he seemed completely devoid of the self-consciousness that would prevent me from doing the same thing. While I may have found myself singing from time to time, the fact is you never would. At the first sight of you, I will drop to a hum which tapers to silence in exactly 2.5 seconds.
Here is another example of someone who is able to do something that I can’t, not because of lack of skill (I don’t admit to singing any worse than he does), but because of fear of feeling uncomfortable or being looked at funny. Why is it that as we get older and should feel more self-assured that we actually feel the opposite? I could understand “younger me” having this fear, but “older me” should have enough self-assurance to not care anymore. I find myself as frustrated by this as I am when I am at a concert and start clapping too early and suddenly feel like all the eyes in the place are looking at me and every mouth is mumbling, “What a jackass”.
Well, no more. For the next week, I am not going to try to ignore the inner voice that says, “Shh, people will judge you” and try to live a little. I want to have that same smile that Penisimani (The janitor/ custodian) has and maybe the path to it is to take myself a little less seriously. Before this week is up, I vow to sing a song in a public place and at my next concert, I am going to clap whenever the hell I want and love it!
While I wouldn’t be waiting in line at midnight at Best Buy for his CD, his voice was pleasant enough as he sang a tune in what seems to be his native language…but that’s not the point. The point is that he seemed completely devoid of the self-consciousness that would prevent me from doing the same thing. While I may have found myself singing from time to time, the fact is you never would. At the first sight of you, I will drop to a hum which tapers to silence in exactly 2.5 seconds.
Here is another example of someone who is able to do something that I can’t, not because of lack of skill (I don’t admit to singing any worse than he does), but because of fear of feeling uncomfortable or being looked at funny. Why is it that as we get older and should feel more self-assured that we actually feel the opposite? I could understand “younger me” having this fear, but “older me” should have enough self-assurance to not care anymore. I find myself as frustrated by this as I am when I am at a concert and start clapping too early and suddenly feel like all the eyes in the place are looking at me and every mouth is mumbling, “What a jackass”.
Well, no more. For the next week, I am not going to try to ignore the inner voice that says, “Shh, people will judge you” and try to live a little. I want to have that same smile that Penisimani (The janitor/ custodian) has and maybe the path to it is to take myself a little less seriously. Before this week is up, I vow to sing a song in a public place and at my next concert, I am going to clap whenever the hell I want and love it!
