After my last trip to the Farm Sanctuary, I decided that it was time that I started to look a bit more seriously for ways to join the team. I had checked out the job listings on the web site several times, but had always talked myself out of the positions by finding things that would "disqualify" me. By now, it should be clear that the animals are what matter and I would never want to do anything that would negatively affect them. I did find a job that I thought I would be very good at, although I lacked some of the requirements, and I decided to go for it. As I wrote in my application, "When I am working with Farm Sanctuary, I feel like the man I was always supposed to be and I want to have that feeling all the time." I didn't even know what the position paid, but it didn't matter. As long as we can have enough to live, that would be enough. The emphasis is being able to "live" rather than just feeling like I am treading water, or making it by. My only concern is the fact that I would probably not be able to make the same level of donations any more.
After checking my e-mail everyday for a week for any sign, my phone rang during my staff meeting. I had no way of knowing that it was Samantha, Farm Sanctuary's HR Director, so when I checked my message, I was quite surprised. People who know me are aware of the fact that I do not take praise well. It makes me cynical and I generally feel unworthy of it. Even without that personality quirk, I think I would have read between the lines of the message on my phone. It was too nice and too praising for me to think I stood a chance. I cringed at the thought of all the interviewees I have had to call over the years to let them know that they did not get the job, and pondered whether the karma had come home to roost. As I pressed the "End Call" button on my phone, I silently resigned myself to remaining with my current job.
I called Samantha back twice before we finally reached each other live and in person. We had a pleasant chat, and I shared my Farm Sanctuary story. Once I get talking about the Farm, I don't always know when to stop. Over what seemed like a two hour call, but was in reality probably only thirty to forty minutes, my suspicions were confirmed. I would not be getting the position due to lack of experience in fund-raising. It was a bitter pill to swallow, but I can understand that they need to do what they think is right. Personally, I look at my professional experience and see little in my past that would explain my success at any of my jobs, but I have universally excelled at them. Man, even on paper it is hard for me to admit that! To me, this would be more of the same, except that I would be working not only out of dedication, but out of real passion.
We closed the call with a discussion about meeting with the Executive Director at the Hoe Down in May. I hold out hope that this will provide an opportunity to share my passion, and maybe find an opportunity for Farm Sanctuary to use me, and for me to finally realize what I want to do when I grow up. At the very least, I figure I have made my intent known and that is the first step that I had failed to take in the past.
Between now and my meeting with Dr. Kornberg, I will continue to try to find ways to make a difference. I will continue to share brochures through the Loving Hut restaurant in Palo Alto. I will also look for ways to make more money for donations. By looking around the house for things that I don't use, I figure I can convert my CD collection, DVD collections, and library into funds. Sometimes you have to get creative and, besides, I want to work on being less materialistic and less of a consumer anyway. I feel that many of today's problems are the result of consumerism run amuck. The "economy of useless things" has driven people to work too hard to buy things of no real value. As we accumulate more material things, we lose the things that matter, and generate mountains of waste along the way. It's time for another change!
